Free Web Counter My Life: January 2006

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

A Cold Night's Sleep

We've had our house set at about 63 degrees just to keep our heating bill from killing us. Tonight I went in to check on Ethan before I went up to bed. He had gotten up and put his winter gloves, his scarf, and his winter hat on to keep warm. I had to laugh. Just as a disclaimer he had some flannel PJ's and a t-shirt on under them and he had 3 blankets over him, so it wasn't like we were freezing the kid to death!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Dreams

I have a hard time understanding dreams. Sometimes they are so wonderful and you wake up all happy and such. Othertimes it's quite the opposite. Those have been the dreams I have been having lately. Dreams that when I wake up I wonder why I am dreaming about this. These are dreams I have had a couple times a year for the last 10 years or so. Dreams that I wish I wouldn't have. I have prayed about this for so long - praying that the memories associated with these dreams would just go away, but so far that hasn't worked. I feel like these dreams come around again when I am seeking after God the most. I feel like it's Satan messing with my head - trying to distract me from what I should be thinking about.

Argh...

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

My grandpa's funeral on Monday was amazing. It was such a celebration of his life and how his whole purpose in life was to tell others about Jesus. He had some "preacher boys" that he mentored and they spoke at the funeral. It was so cool to hear them talk about how he had encouraged them in every way he could. My grandpa was such an amazing man. It's funny - I didn't cry as much at his funeral as I did at my aunt's or my grandma's. The whole funeral had a different feel to it - a happy and joyful time to celebrate his life.

It was great to see all my family again. I have seen them three times now in just over 4 months. More than I had seen any of them in the last 10 years! It was so nice to reconnect with them so much in so little time. I love seeing them, but I hope I don't see them under these circumstances again for a long time.

Once of the most amazing things that happened was that I get to have my grandma's piano. This piano was something she played everyday and something I have a lot of memories attached to. I didn't realize it before, but it is worth a lot of money. All my mom's siblings gave up a lot so that I could have it. I can't even express how excited I am that I get to have this precious heirloom!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

A Tribute to Pepaw

I just got this email from my brother who is a missionary over in Kiev, Ukraine. He wrote a tribute to our grandpa, "Pepaw". I thought it would give you an idea about how awesome my grandparents were. I am honestly a better person knowing them. I will miss them more that I could ever express...



A Tribute to Pepa

Pepa and Mema are my grandparents. My early memories of Pepa and Mema
come from summer vacations and Christmas holidays spent in the thriving
metropolis of Robards, Kentucky - population 569, according to the
internet. It seemed smaller back then. Pepa was the pastor of a small
country church in Robards. Pepa loved being a pastor and Pepa loved God. I
can still see Pepa standing in the pulpit of that small church preaching
the Christmas sermon about Jesus as the Baby in the manger and God's
gift of salvation to mankind. At the New Year's Eve service, Pepa would
preach about how this might be the year when Jesus would return and we
would watch the clock strike twelve. We then joined hands and sang "I'm
so glad I'm a part of the family of God." The clock was always very big
and made a loud ticking sound. Pepa loved to fix old clocks. The louder
they ticked, I think the more he liked them. When I would sleep on the
couch in his house I was sometimes scared by the many loud clocks that
ticked and tocked in the darkness. They seemed like something out of
the Twilight Zone, especially when they all chimed out together at
midnight. Pepa used to say that life is what happens while you are making
plans. I think he understood the nature of time. He appreciated each and
every day as a gift from God. Maybe that is why he liked clocks.

Pepa loved to hunt. He took me hunting for the very first time in a
snowy wood across the road from the parsonage in Gregory. We saw one
rabbit, I took one shot, and we had our lunch. Pepa said there wasn't much
left to eat, but is sure tasted good. Besty went hunting with us that
day. Betsy was Pepa's beagle. Maybe it wasn't Betsy, but one of the
beagles that came after Betsy. Pepa loved beagles. It seems like he always
had a beagle. I don't remember all their names, so I just think of them
all as Betsy. It seems to me that all beagles should be called Betsy. A
few times I went fishing with Pepa. Pepa loved to fish, especially for
bluegills. I preferred bass and pike. I never had the patience that
Pepa had to use worms and bobbers to catch those little fish. Pepa had a
lot of patience. I don't remember ever seeing him cross or angry, at
least not at me. I never heard him say a cross word to anybody. Pepa was a
very kind and gentle man. Even when Brenda and I ran in church or
didn't mind, Pepa was always patient. He was patient even when Brenda and I
stayed at Mema and Pepa's for what seemed like a whole summer. Mom and
Dad were on "vacation." Nine months later Tricia was born. We didn't
figure that out the connection till later. Every child should have a Pepa
and a Mema. They are a matching set like salt and pepper. They just go
together. I'll never forget their constant words of encouragement. "We
are so proud of you." "We pray for you every day." Finally, there was
Pepa's favorite saying of all: "How good can the good Lord be!" Pepa
loved his family and he loved me.

A few years ago I saw Pepa preach his last sermon to a handful of
people on a Sunday night. I don't know if anybody there will remember that
sermon, but I will never forget it. He was already quite forgetful, but
seemed to come alive when he stepped behind that pulpit. I saw Pepa for
the last time this summer. He was frail and needed a cane to walk. He
sometimes faded in and out of the conversation. Sometimes I had to
repeat the same answers to the same questions. I didn't mind. It was just
nice to be with him. He was still the same Pepa and he was my Pepa. Mema
and Pepa were in declining health and we knew that they would not be
with us for long. That doesn't make their departure any less painful even
though we know that we will see them again. Monday is Pepa's funeral. I
heard that they will drape his coffin with a Christian flag. He would
have liked that. Pepa never preached to thousands and he never wrote a
book, but he was the greatest preacher I have ever met. He showed the
love of Jesus to everyone – especially to me. I'm sorry if you were not
able to meet my Pepa. He would have liked you.

P.S.

Dear Pepa and Mema
I already miss you. I'm so glad that you are together again with Jesus
... and with Gayle. Please keep her company until the rest of us arrive.

I love you,
Todd
I got to go down and see my grandpa last night with my sister and her family. It was so sad to see him sitting there in bed, just watching the life slip away from him. The thing that struck me was how he looked exactly like my grandma right before she died. We all sat around his bedside for a while and cried and hugged and told funny stories about my wonderful grandpa. He never woke up while we were there. We were able to spend about 3 hours with him and my aunt and uncle last night. I got a phone call this morning that during the night he had passed away. Life sucks sometimes...

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Round Three...

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted. Amazing how time flies when you're so busy. I got a call last night from my mom - she told me that my grandpa only has days to live. I can't believe how many funerals I have been to in the last 5 months. First my aunt died in September, then my grandma died in December, and now her husband only has days left. I hope this will be the end of it for a long time.

I can say that even though it is very say to see these precious people die, I am comforted to know that I will see them again one day. They were all believers. Going to a funeral of a believer is such a two-sided thing. It is so sad and gut-wrenching to see someone you love so much sitting there motionless. Selfishly, I want that person here with me. I don't want them to leave. But, knowing that they are no longer in pain from cancer, or no longer dealing with alzheimer's is such a comfort. At my Aunt's and Grandma's funeral I would sit and try and listen to the service, but could not stop thinking about what they might be doing that very minute. Knowing that they were so much happier in heaven than here on earth with us. Knowing that there was a reason that God took my aunt WAY too early in her life. Knowing that my grandma had lead a complete and fulfilling life. Knowing that my grandpa has lead just as much of a full and complete life and that he has influenced so many people's walk with Christ.

I guess more than anything, it has made me examine my own life and wonder what kind of influence I have on my children. Am I the kind of example to them that I should be? Am I sharing my faith with others like they have? Am I in prayer for my children and family everyday like they were? It has given me a reality-check, I guess, as to what my prioirities are right now.
Google
WWW http://triciamiller.blogspot.com/